September Fitness Recap: The Zombie Shuffle Gets Smoother

Uuugh… the life of a fitness zombie is rough. I stumble through my workouts, groaning as I lift weights, shuffle my feet during cardio, and constantly feel like I’m on the edge of collapsing. But, surprisingly, there have been some improvements that even this zombie can appreciate. My evening meditations before bed have done wonders, increasing my sleep time from around 3.5 hours to over 6 hours—who knew zombies could sleep that long?

My morning cardio is an intentional shuffle, but keeping it casual has helped boost my energy and attitude throughout the day. Even more shocking, my evening cardio sessions have started ramping up in intensity. And though my strength workouts are hard to keep consistent, I’m getting better at sticking with them. On top of all that, I’ve been seeing a chiropractor twice a week, and, along with my stretching, it’s actually helping with my mild back pain and improving my flexibility. It’s weird—this undead body is moving a bit smoother, and my mood has lifted too.

I’m still battling time management though. Trying to finish workouts at least an hour before bedtime? Yeah, still working on that one. But hey, I’m still moving—kind of. September has been a month of steady shuffling, and I’ve got the data to prove it. Let’s break it down.

Zombie Workouts: Crawling Through the Grind

In September, I managed to claw my way through a total of 10,893 calories burned over 1,547 minutes of exercise. That’s an average of 363 calories a day for 52 minutes. Not bad for someone dragging their limbs around!

Compared to August, where I was averaging just 170 calories burned and 28 minutes per day, this is a big improvement! I nearly doubled my daily burn and increased my exercise time by almost 24 minutes per day. My morning cardio is casual, but it’s giving me more energy for the day, and I’m proud of pushing my evening cardio to a higher intensity. My strength workouts are still hard to keep up consistently, but I’m getting better.

• Positives:
  • Significant improvement in daily exercise time and calories burned compared to August.
  • Morning cardio has improved my energy and mood.
  • Evening cardio is becoming more intense, which is helping with overall fitness.
• Negatives:
  • Strength training is still inconsistent in my routine.
  • Still working on managing time to finish workouts earlier in the day to improve recovery.
• Conclusion: The zombie shuffle was strong this month. I showed up, improved my performance over August, and kept moving. That’s progress!

Zombie Body: Falling Apart Less

September was a month of losses—no surprise, given the state of my zombified body. I dropped 7.5 lbs in weight, lost 0.8 lbs of muscle, and shed 1.7% body fat. It’s a mixed bag, really.

• Progress:
  • Weight Loss: August saw a loss of 6.8 lbs, so September’s 7.5 lbs loss was slightly more.
  • Body Fat Loss: August: -1.4% | September: -1.7% – losing fat, even for a zombie, is a good sign.
  • Muscle Mass: August: -1.6 lbs | September: -0.8 lbs – Losing muscle sucks. It’s not like I had much to begin with!
  • Metabolic Age: August: Stayed the same | September: Decreased by 1 year, which means I’m slightly less ancient than last month!
• Positives:
  • My body fat percentage is creeping down.
  • I’m lighter, which might make it easier to shuffle around.
  • My metabolic age actually decreased, which is definitely a good sign of progress!
• Negatives:
  • Lost muscle mass. That’s going to make dragging these limbs around even harder.
  • My metabolism is still slowing overall—my BMR dropped slightly.
• Conclusion: While the body fat drop is nice, I need to find a way to build some muscle. Less of the flesh is good, and the decrease in metabolic age shows I’m moving in the right direction. But I need to bulk up if I want to feel more alive.

Zombie Fuel: Keeping the Brain (and Body) Moving

In September, I gobbled down a total of 42,462 calories. That’s an average of 1,415.4 calories per day, 97.2 grams of carbohydrates, 84.2 grams of fat, and 86.9 grams of protein. Not bad for a zombie diet, huh?

• Positives:
  • Stayed consistent with protein intake to keep fueling my undead gains.
  • Kept calories in check, preventing any undead bloat.
  • Managed carbohydrate intake well to help regulate blood glucose levels.
• Negatives:
  • Could increase total calorie intake slightly to fuel higher energy levels.
• Conclusion: My nutrition was decent but not optimal. If I want to move from zombie to, I don’t know, something slightly more alive, I need to focus on a bit more fueling for energy without sacrificing blood glucose control.

Zombie Heart: Still Beating (Somehow)

My heart—well, it still beats, even if it feels like it’s hanging by a thread. My minimum heart rate this month was 49 bpm, with a maximum of 153 bpm, an average of 99 bpm, and a resting heart rate of 69 bpm. That’s a nice drop from August, when my resting heart rate averaged 74 bpm—it seems my heart is getting more efficient, even if I still feel like the undead.

My heart rate variability (HRV) also showed improvement, with an average of 28 in September compared to just 20 in August. This means my body is recovering better, and my heart is becoming more adaptable, which is a big deal for a zombie trying to shuffle back to life.

Now, the blood pressure is where I’ve made some real improvements. My blood pressure ranged from a minimum of 109/71 to a maximum of 127/81, with an average of 119/75. For someone with a history of high blood pressure, these numbers are a win. The fact that I’m keeping things under control while stumbling through my workouts is a huge step in the right direction.

• Positives:
  • My resting heart rate decreased, showing improved heart efficiency.
  • HRV is up, indicating better recovery and adaptability.
  • Blood pressure readings stayed within a good range, especially considering my history of high blood pressure.
• Negatives:
  • HRV is still on the lower side, meaning recovery could still be better.
  • Some days, my heart rate struggled to stay consistent—probably because I felt like I was dragging a 50-pound weight behind me.
• Conclusion: My heart is still beating, which is more than some zombies can say. Blood pressure is looking good, which is a relief given my history. The drops in resting heart rate and improvements in HRV show that I’m slowly coming back to life—maybe I’m shuffling faster than I thought!

Zombie Blood Sugar: No More Wild Swings

Now, onto the blood sugar rollercoaster. In September, my blood glucose ranged from 78 to 242 mg/dL, with an average of 123 mg/dL. Compared to August, when my levels were all over the place—ranging from a low of 55 mg/dL to a high of 432 mg/dL, with an average of 147 mg/dL—September’s numbers are a huge improvement.

By keeping things more steady, I’ve managed to avoid those extreme highs and lows. My lower carbohydrate intake definitely helped with this, even if it left me feeling a bit sluggish at times.

• Positives:
  • Much better control of blood glucose levels compared to August.
  • No extreme lows or dangerous highs, which means I’m managing my intake better.
• Negatives:
  • Blood sugar variability is still something I need to work on. Some days, my levels were still a little erratic.
  • I felt a bit low on energy some days due to keeping carbs in check.
• Conclusion: My blood sugar is hanging in there, and I’ve made real improvements since August. I’m getting better at keeping things steady and avoiding the zombie crashes. Just need to find the balance between energy and control.

Final Thoughts from the Fitness Zombie

September was a shuffle in the right direction—no, seriously, I might have even picked up the pace a little! Compared to August, there were some clear signs of improvement. My workouts got longer and more intense, with calories burned almost doubling. My body composition is changing for the better, shedding fat and, most importantly, lowering my metabolic age. My heart is getting stronger, with a lower resting heart rate and better heart rate variability, showing I’m starting to recover more effectively.

Blood sugar control? Way better. September’s blood glucose readings were far more consistent than August’s wild rollercoaster of highs and lows. And let’s not forget the blood pressure, which stayed in a great range, even with my history of hypertension.

Sure, there’s still work to do—I need to focus on maintaining muscle mass, continue improving HRV, and figure out how to balance energy while managing blood glucose. But all in all, I feel a little more alive. The zombie shuffle is turning into something resembling a real walk.