🧟‍♂️ Fitness Zombie Rises (Again)

An overdue update from the land of soreness, sweat, and surprisingly good vibes.

It’s been a minute. Or like, a dozen workouts, several chiropractor sessions, a couple solo trail rides, and one particularly ambitious dual sport ride. Yeah, I recently signed up for a guided 2-day dual sport ride as a test of my undead endurance—and spoiler alert: I survived. Mostly. But let’s rewind a bit…

Before the Ride: Prepping the Zombie

A couple weeks before the event, I started dialing things in. Not just the usual “load the bike and forget snacks” approach—real prep. I was getting in regular cardio (masked as “Throttle Therapy” rides), stretching like a wannabe yoga instructor, and even dragging myself through core workouts that didn’t end in a pulled hamstring or tears. Progress!

Even my resting heart rate started to behave—dropping like it finally realized we weren’t in danger. And heart rate variability? Higher than my credit score after college. Things were looking up.

Weight Goal Unlocked… and Maintenance Begins

Let’s talk goals for a second. I hit my end-of-year weight goal a few months early, which was awesome—and also terrifying. Because if there’s one mode the Fitness Zombie has always sucked at, it’s maintenance. Historically, this is where I lose focus, give back the progress, and start hearing the siren song of “what’s the point?”

But not this time.

The last three months I’ve been bouncing between 190 and 200, finding my balance between living, fueling, and not falling back into old undead habits. It’s not easy. The zombie brain still loves snacks and laziness. But it’s a win just to hold the line—to not panic when the scale fluctuates or the pants feel weird after leg day.

Feeding the Undead Machine

Nutrition was… shockingly decent. I was keeping protein levels high, fiber goals were being hit more days than not (thanks, chia seeds and guilt), and hydration wasn’t just “coffee until lunch.” I even remembered to mix my IQ powder into my water before a ride. Adulting!

No crash diets. No starvation stunts. Just balanced meals that didn’t require a spreadsheet to log—unless you count the spreadsheet I definitely used.

Mental Gains: Solitude, Sanity, and Dirt

One of the best things I did was disappear to the mountains for a bit of peace. Just me, my gear, and trails that don’t care how fast you are. It was the kind of quiet that gets your head right—nature therapy with a little throttle twist.

It wasn’t all zen though—there were moments of “what-the-heck-am-I-doing-out-here-alone” and “is that muscle supposed to twitch like that?” But every ride, every solo mission reminded me that this whole fitness thing is bigger than the scale or stats. It’s about showing up. Even if it’s limping. Especially if it’s limping.

Body Report: Bent, Not Broken

Let’s talk about recovery, because the Fitness Zombie is many things—but invincible ain’t one of ‘em.

• Shoulder? Still sore. But manageable.
• Back? Much improved, thanks to my new BFF: the chiropractor.
• Legs? Still spasm randomly just to keep things exciting.
• Overall? Way less creaky than before. Some days I even felt… spry. (Don’t tell anyone.)

Functional Fitness, Zombie Edition

You want a workout? Try loading a 300-lb dual sport into a lifted 4×4 truck bed solo, then hauling gear up and down hills in moto boots. Forget CrossFit—this is Crossthrottle.

I’ve been dialing in real-world strength lately, but with a few key changes. For now, I’ve paused the chiropractor and massage therapy sessions—not because they weren’t helping (they were), but because I’ve shifted focus.

Instead, I’m throwing down hard on mobility work and hitting weekly assisted stretching sessions at Stretch Lab. If you’ve never had someone professionally bend you like a pretzel, you’re missing out. It’s weirdly effective—and humbling.

I’ve also been hitting Leg Day like it owes me money. The usual routine includes:

• Angled Leg Press
• Hip Abduction (outer thigh)
• Hip Adduction (inner thigh)
• Leg Extensions
• Leg Curls
• Calf Raises (because zombie calves still deserve love)

Yeah, my legs are getting stronger. But if I’m being honest? My arms, shoulders, chest, and back are collecting a bit of dust. I want to get back into a full-body strength routine. I plan to. But, you know… there are only so many hours in a week—and most of them are already claimed by bikes, work, hydration guilt, and sleep negotiations.

Prioritizing and optimizing continues to be my ultimate boss fight. I’m constantly shifting gears between what my body needs most and what time will actually allow. It’s a struggle. But hey, I haven’t flatlined yet.

The Ride That Tested It All

So, back to that guided 2-day dual sport ride. I covered 182 miles on Day 1, across terrain that made my legs question their life choices. By the time I woke up on Day 2? I was so sore it hurt to blink. I made the tough call to bow out of the official second day, but—because I’m stubborn and just a little bit petty—I still did my own solo ride later that afternoon, just to prove I wasn’t done yet.

Was it smart? Debatable.
Was it satisfying? Absolutely.
Would I do it again? You already know the answer.

Results: The Zombie Ain’t Dead Yet

Since the last update:

• Dropped a few pounds (without trying to).
• Improved cardio so much that I have to work harder just to hit training zones.
• Lowered resting heart rate and boosted HRV (a.k.a. stress and recovery are in a better relationship now).
• Mental health: dramatically improved. There’s something about a good ride and a quiet trail that beats therapy (and costs way less).
• Mood: Sharper. Funnier. Hungrier—for life, not brains.

TL;DR – I’m back, I’m bruised, and I’m better.

The Fitness Zombie isn’t shredded. Not running marathons. Not doing backflips.
But the undead momentum is real. I’m fitter, looser, clearer-headed, and more grounded than I’ve been in years. And yeah, the journey’s got mud, setbacks, and the occasional groan… but that’s kind of the point.

So if you’re out there thinking, “I should probably do something healthy today”—take it from your favorite semi-decayed motivator:

Do something small.
Move your carcass.
Drink some water.
And for the love of bikes, go outside if you can.

I’ll be back with more updates, more honesty, and probably more stories involving muscle cramps and poor food choices.

Stay lurching,
– The Fitness Zombie